Distance Diagnosing

It's hard to believe, but the Larry Brown saga continues in NY. Hard to believe because we Detroiters have moved on so fast that no one is bothering to be up in arms about his signing with the Knicks just a week after saying he wasn't healthy enough to coach. Yes, just a week after his agent, Joe Glass, said, "he said he wants to coach in Detroit, Now that he can't do that, in all likelihood he will NOT coach next year," LB is set to sign on with the Knickerbockers. Ho Hum. Surprise, surprise. Detroiters have become so jaded to this that we apparently don't care. We are so convinced that he plotted this all along, that there is really nothing to be mad about. He brought us Rasheed, and helped fine-tune a team primed for a championship run. He wore out his welcome by listening to all suitors during a time when the team needed his commitment most. Even his brother, Herb Brown, said today on the radio: " I love him, but every job is his dream job."

So what is up with Larry Brown? What makes a guy coach UCLA, Kansas, New Jersey Nets, LA Clippers, San Antonio, Indiana Pacers, Philadelphia 76ers, Detroit Pistons, New York Knicks? I am missing two other jobs...these are the ones I listed off the top of my head. What makes a guy marry three times? Many armchair psychologists are going on talk radio, attempting to diagnose and understand Larry. Much like what happens whenever the news adopts a new freak, and various media whores/talking heads attempt to diagnose someone they've never met, explain said freak's motivation, childhood experiences, or what must be going through his or her mind (a) while doing the freakish act and (b) now that the media and legal system are on top of them, several "experts" are attempting to explain away Larry's behavior.

A word to all non-psychologists out there: A good psychologist is a scientist, one who develops a theory of what, when and how. S/he then gathers data in a painstaking way, weighs the evidence, and compares it to the theory. This occurs in clinical work as well. We meet with the person of interest, gather as much historical data as possible, conduct testing, confer with significant others (friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc) in the person's life, compile all the information, and deveop a picture of the person, including behavior and motivation as well as potential future behavior. When we do this, we are very cautious about drawing inferences from our data, attempt to not rush to conclusions, and always consider alternate interpretations of the data. In short, we do not provide sound bites, and generally speaking, any psychologist who considers him or herself a scientist would not be good for a sound bite. We understand the contextualized nature of behavior, we live in a world of gray, and we are not typically narcissistic, publicity hungry media whores who would make bold statements. So much of what you hear out there, even if coming from someone who identifies him or herself as a psychologist, is junk.

That being said, here is what I think is up with LB:

He is a very insecurely attached individual, and is particularly uncomfortable with love. People claim that he wants to be loved, but he was loved/respected here in detroit, and it made him very uncomfortable. He is histrionic, and likes to be as dramatic as possible, and when one tries to interact in a professional manner (ala Joe D.), he sabotages the relationship in an effort to confirm his belief that no one respects or loves him. Ultimately, he forces the scenraio that he fears -- a messy divorce -- and creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. He continues to do this wherever he goes, seeking out people and behaving in a fashion that confirms his suspicions. Sure, the Pistons dumped him. But only because he gave them no choice. He is like the romantic partner who constantly tests you to see how devoted you are to the relationship, and when you come to your senses and say, enough is enough, that partner says, "I knew you would bail on me!!!" Of course, any rational person would realize that narcissistic, histrionic and insecure people may bring short-term excitement, but in the end cause more pain than having a relationship is worth. The Pistons realized this. They did not get sucked in to the drama. They moved on.

My suggestion for my 3 loyal readers is to look around you, examine those individuals in your life that create drama, tension, and force you to constantly exert energy to prove your loyalty and put out fires. Do you really need those people in your life? If not, take a page from Joe Dumars, and gently distance yourself from them. Let them accuse you of being a bad friend, of deserting them. If you are successful, there may be some short-term tension (during the breakup), but there will be long-term peace of mind.